Contemplating Future

Out of all the inspirational speeches and books I have (re-)heard or (re-)read lately, two are making me think about aspects of my life:

- Steve Jobs’ speech at Stanford
- Seth Godin’s The Dip

Taking fragments from these and looking back/into the future, I understand better where I am, how I have reached here and where I am heading to. Few are the points I would like to highlight and share with whomever might have the patience:).

The essential idea is to contemplate your future, give some time to set a plan and put it in place, but while getting steps arranged not forget about dreaming.
Just the way Steve Job puts it – dots will eventually connect in the future. You have to move forward and believe in your strengths.
In Seth Godin’s book, that means struggling to get over the Dip, deciding when to quit and when to run that extra mile which separates the excellent from the normal.

When I look back, no matter how displeased I am with the volume I have to cope with at work, I feel proud I have learnt out of my frustrations, out of the differences between me and my team, out of my anxiety of not being able to do a different kind of job.
It’s very easy to walk away when things get hard on your knees, thing about which I have thought more than once. But if you do, how will you know what would have happened if you stayed? That is how I stayed for some time. The volume of work keeps growing, but I learnt how to cope with stress, with ideas I don’t agree with, how to cope with financial crisis from an HR point of view, how to look at a business from the strategic point of view, how to work with numbers, etc.
Visualising or even contemplating your future and being committed to one’s tasks is the key to pulling it through. Not commiserating, not feeling sorry, but taking things with a bit of humour and fantasy.

The second idea is contradicting the old saying ‘don’t mix pleasure with business’. Well, for most of the successful people I have met, their business is their pleasure. They enjoy what they are doing and they sell enjoyment to others. Be it in an NGO working to change things for the better, be it a great site they are creating, be it giving training and coaching or even working in an ice cream factory, all of these come out of pleasure and give pleasure to the ones they are addressing to.
My whole job description might not be a list of things I entirely love to do, but if I extract out of it what exactly gives me pleasure and through which actions exactly I create pleasure for the others, then I can organise so as to achieve my goals but also feel fulfilled.

The third idea is: there is no separation between personal and professional life or if it exists and they are being kept separate in some aspects, they do interfere with each other at a point. If you are not a good person and are looking only for profit, people will notice that, as people can’t be fooled on a long term.

Most of the great managers I have met, take the time to give feed-back and coaching to their colleagues, are honest in their approach and modest in doing their work, even if they know how to brand it nicely. These are people who do not only target to become leaders and be paid better so that they can support their families but also like to bring an added value in each work/business relationship. They are role models and people you like doing business with, while the others are just managers.

The fourth idea is related to life in general and the way we get to meet and stick with people. You can then look at your life as if it were the house you are living in. Before complaining about it, just ask yourself first how often do you invest in it, how often you clean it and how organised you keep it for it to be able to welcome new people and make them feel good.
Since I am in a relationship, I get to learn and live a lot. I make sure my life is as tidy as I can get it for the other person to enjoy being here. I ask myself how much I am giving, if I can put a bit of extra effort, if I accept as much as I am accepted.

Making this short article rounded, I am going to the first idea – contemplating future. Essentially, I don’t think anyone likes spending their lives alone. And neither did I. Several times I had tried to envision what I want, what I expect and how I can offer of me to someone else.
Trying to get there might get you a bit of kicks in the head. But if you look into the future and keep your life-house clean, there will be plenty of space for people to step in. Because when they do, they might bring more light and balance. And so will you in return.

The Meaning and Melody of Us

You walked me through the summer and covered me in autumn,
You waltzed me and you warmed me and so the bad forgotten.
You held my arms and kissed my eyes and sang the tears away,
You read for me and read through me and got me in to stay.

You never offered kingdoms but travelled me the world,
You taught me how to speak without saying a word.
We whispered and we laughed, we wrote a little story,
We shared so many ‘thank you’s and never said we’re sorry.

We climbed a little hill; we neared the pebble beach to kiss the sea,
We shared the music, shared the sun and shared the way to be.
I dream your dreams and share your thoughts and speak a word so free
I never flew with unknown wings and enjoyed being me.

I’ll walk you through the autumn and warm you up in winter,
I’ll laugh and smile and light my eyes for you to see their glitter.
I’ll hold your arms and kiss your eyes and sing the tears away,
I’ll read for you and read through you and get you in to stay.

My tear is not the end of your world

Hey there...

Friday evening let its coldness fall over. The lights on the way guided home to me:-). And I laid on my bed of imaginary roses.
Finally writing tonight, I even feel guilty for not having done it earlier, as I am committed to my writing just as I committed to only 3 other things in my life: family, him and friends.

I dislike seeing blogs getting rusty or friends who used to write not getting back to me. Yet this is exactly what I have also become lately - a wanderer. I can't complain. I've been happily busy - being there for my friends, travelling a lot, learning new things at work, overcoming stress.

In the last one month lessons have been coming my way. I can't talk much about it. As they say - secret of two is no longer a secret. It doesn't need to be a secret, but I have learnt to evaluate friendships and keep my personal life at home, where it belongs.

Lessons, however must be shared, so I am sharing what I've learnt, probably reminding of lessons you have already come across as well:

- our will cannot change the dear ones - no matter how much you think from the deepest of your heart you are doing the right thing, if they are against it, they will remain against it. But we are meant to be and feel different, and if that doesn't set us apart nothing else will.


- if you don't call, the other will not either - I have very few friends who unconditionally look for me. Especially since I'm with someone I love, people don't bother anymore about showing their affection. Lately I have been a busy bee as well, so few communication has happened over the past months. However, I have recently met friends I have made over 5 years ago and we still feel fresh and new. And that is because we always called first.

- illness can be cured, on the fist and main condition for you to wish redemption - i am sure there isn't any illness in this world which cannot be controlled and even cured. AIDS, cancer, depression, anxiety are all stigmas of our modern society to which people have learnt to react with understanding. Understanding, that is right, there is no need for compassion or fear. I haven't been there so I can't pretend I'm an expert, but I have had dear people in all of the mentioned cases and many of them have cured and many of them have been dear to me all the way.

- responding to anger with anger won't get you anywhere - this is something I have learnt by being alone in UK and then being with someone who knows how to control. Most of my country fellows are very hot Latin blood people so they snap out at you if you snap at them. Where will that get you? Somewhere 20 minutes later all red and with few neurons lost. But if you sit and listen patiently and don't blame and don't raise your voice you might calm the other one too.

- there is nothing as priceless as loosing yourself in the Now - Ekhart Tolle wrote a book on it. I read it and realised how revealing it is. I am pretty much a hedonist and don't have the energy to worry in vain for longer than 10 minutes, but the book helped me extend this to the largest scale of life. I smile even if unwell and I want people around me to smile as much as possible. We need to remember yesterday, plan for tomorrow, but smile for today.

- the best way to make your life light and set yourself free is forgiving and forgetting - if you take offence and if you carry with you the resent gathered, it is likely you will burst or you will charge yourself with a heavy load which you don't at all deserve. Sometime back after a massive hurt, the Acting teacher asked me several questions on forgiving and when hearing my answers thought I'm quoting from a book or being dishonest. But I told her that for me forgiving and leaving things behind are the best ways to refresh. Out of pure egoism, I refuse to take forward the mess from the past, simply because some things are too stained for me to get them cleaned.

- music matters - and if you listen to the song with the same title from Faithless you'll know more about that. Music says a lot, creates romance, releases pain, gives a positive tone to Monday, it creates magic and it brings people together.

I'm sitting here typing with some hidden weight in my heart and praying everything will be ok. Trusting it will be ok. I'm learning my lessons, we are all learning.a lesson. And I am trustful and serene and know everything ends well. Or..maybe it never ends. It is just a point in the circle connecting to another one and it all ends to start again.

Awake and conscious

Listening to Zdob si Zdub (a very good Moldavian band you ought to listen to), I remembered home. Of course my home has become so abstract and undefined I wouldn’t be able to say where it is and what about it makes me feel so happy and at ease.

Coming from the swimming lessons, having a late dinner with Monica and Nusheen (my endless Romanian-Asian universe...), talking to him on skype, all these are little pieces of life for which I am grateful and I feel complete.

I work a lot. Tomorrow I’m on leave but I’ll be sorting out some data in the morning. Yet I am awake at 1 am just because I felt the need of music and writing in my life – this wonderfully imperfect life in which I struggle and I still wonder what is it that I have to prove.

I love, with every inch of my heart and my mind. I’m in love with the people in my life, with travelling, with being there for you, with letting new challenges and feelings take over me. I even write and share it with people who have no clue of who I am. Because I want to live, let myself go, free of inhibitions, over-thinking, and evaluation or need to come out as perfect.

I love, with sunshine of a mind that used to be full of spots and now it’s just connecting the dots. I love and I’m not afraid of over-using this word, of what it means, of risking. There’s no risk, there’s a journey and an experience.

And, in this thirst for writing, sharing words and music, all the tiredness goes away, washes off like a wave and there I am – fresh again.

You don’t know what I’m talking about do you?
Then maybe you should youtube ‘zdob si zdob’, that’s definitely going to worth it!

Yanni live Taj Mahal Renegade

Untitled

Autumn drops and open roads. Got off the bus and kept walking home – for a few minutes of solitude like I missed it - a space to think and value.

Value words: in any language, in riddles, in poems, in news. Because we need to express and speak out, understand each other even from continents away.

Value time: as it is all too scarce and selfish and we’ve got so much to do.

Value simple things: for everything it’s meant to be simple unless we decide to make it complicated, for being simple is prettier than any artefact, for being simple takes so much of guts.

Value music and silence: for if we both can sit and listen and still feel each other (or we feel each other even more) it means we got our senses alive, our desire burning and we cherish the meaning of it all.

Value patience: for none of us is completely right and nothing is ours entirely, for things and people don’t belong to us, they are here by chance, by choice or by luck and if it is so we might as well enjoy each other while we’re here and wait peacefully when not.

Value humanity: giving without measuring and without hidden agenda. Choosing to put oneself on the second place and watch from the shadow. In today’s world, we should all be tired of too much stardom and stardust, of being important, of being over-responsible. Around me there are so many ‘I’, so many people who are right, so many people who are never wrong, that the world gets to be fake and boring.

Value the small wonders of life and the short moments of solitude.

Value love: the family and dear one, the few who remained after months, after years. Value those special few who love you at peace, who love you angry, who take the time to understand and refuse to judge/judge wrongly. Value those who appear in your life like a wonder, who are there unconditionally and for whom you’re as beautiful as you can get.

Value life...

Michael Jackson Will You Be There

setting this apart from media, today, yesterday, history or forgetfullness - just for some minutes

COLONIAL COUSINS-KRISHNA NEE BEGANE

reconstruction.

just read the post below...somehow i was wondering why 10th of june (the day i wrote it) seems familiar. then, i remembered: 9th to 10th of june is the date i went to a vama veche concert in 2006 with someone who in the next three months of my life ruined my idea of love completely and got me paralysed sentimentally for the next other 6 months. no one could equal the mess that he left back then and i am pretty sure no one (as much as they try) will ever get me down the way i was then.

well, that is all in the past. and i am pretty sure people don't hurt us intentionally, they just take longer to understand and learn how to behave...

last night i met someone who has treated me so well that i felt a bit unused to it:-) just the way it happened back in high shool.

got home really late in a state of melancholy and thoughtfulness. someone was telling me i think too much (more 'someone's actually...)
so i decided to stop thinking for a while and stop writing here as well. i need to sort myself out.

have a good break! (and if you want, a kit kat as well)

I dropped down, gorgeous!

Hi,

I just wanted to let you know my desire to end up this friendship is bigger than my ability to ignore it.

See,

To me, too few matter the years behind or the words we have shared. It's all in the blowing in the wind Bob Dylan is singing about.

See,

If you need a friend to meet you daily and listen all your crap it's very likely you can find one. I'm a pretty lost and tired soul and there's nothing in me left to give you. And anyways you were just here to take, were you not?

See,

I feel extremely ignored, humiliated and disrespected and it's quite a feeling of unbalance for someone who has barely ever hurt anyone.

The cup is getting fuller. Had my cider. Had my wine. Don't want to taste your selfish ego.

I am here in my new small room and I give myself the time to regret you.

Buhbye!

career lesson from a carpenter

She is standing in front of her laptop keyboard scratching her nose and biting her lips. This time something good must come out. Something of the sort she used to write in highschool. Too charged in methaphors, hard to read or digest, to sweet to take even with tea and so out of understanding. So out of understanding no one
will read it. And that's fine.

What's this all about? Career? Years going by without a focus: that 'carpe diem' which has made a difference. Punctually. Could have done more. But this is not a carpenter's lesson on career. For she is not a carpenter. Nor will she ever be. See, carpenters do care for their wood. So maybe they'll not sculpt it each time the same way. The oil added will be different. Patience and wood, wood and patience. What do you know? To how many carpenters have you ever spoken?

This is not about how to make a difference. For sure you will. Because you want to. And if you want to, the mountain is a friend, the rock is a brick and the fear is a joke with yourself.

But what if you are to spend your life alone? See, there are times when you just got to think about it. She has given a great deal of advice and it always turned out to be the good one. Her friends are getting married. She is attending the weddings. She is a visitor and when the lights go down she again sleeps in a one person bed.

Some of you know what she means. Most of you. And that's not a shame. It's a way of being, of spending one's life. Advice is good - that little form of nostalgia. She is glad for having dispensing it. And for being (in many cases) right. She just cannot get herself right. Maybe because she left too often. Or because she has been left alone. In the end there's no fault. And no regrets. Just experiences. But an experience alone cannot make it though the night to the end of the day.

And this is not even meant to be sad. No, never. It's just a thought which came by at midnight. That lovely midnight of thoughts and sort of creation, which ends up in a 6 am chilly morning when it's still all good and fun.

Life's going easy on us, no need to push it hard. Don't lean back too much either. But if you think you are meant to spend your life alone, make it look pretty: give it a try once in a while, surround yourself with amazing people, try to fall in love.

This is a career lesson from a carpenter - not necessarily successful, but patient. They say good things happen who those who wait. But if they don't, just make the waiting beautiful!

Lines from India

India, April 2009.

My interest in India developed since high school when reading Mircea Eliade’s novels. M.E. is a great Romanian writer, famous for having written the first History of Religions and for his studies and travels in India.

After joining AIESEC , I have interacted with Indian students coming on internships in Romania. I appreciated a lot their intelligence and open minded attitude and always wondered how their country was like.

Currently I am working with Tata Consultancy Services, a large multinational with headquarters in India. I have about 4000 Indian colleagues and do enjoy working with some of them.

So, given the context, I couldn’t stop being curious about India. I got the visa (it doesn’t take very much of a time, about half a day of queuing and two weeks of processing), booked the flight (you can get one on line at prices from £280 to £450) and let my Indian colleagues do the planning.

Now, before describing the best trip of my life, I need to mention (advertising space) that VA has a very good service and nice stewards. I enjoyed the 9 hours of flying and my interaction with fellow passengers. To my surprise, there were a lot of non-Indians on that flight, heading to Delhi for business or for holidays.

The aircraft was huge, the biggest I had ever travelled in. Even the British man next to me was joking with a friend: ‘This thing is too big to fly’. Yet it flew and it was quite an enjoyable journey.

When landing, there were mainly two things which shocked me:

- Policemen holding weapons. They are dressed in military suits and have old guns, looking like they are really serious about their job. But they’re quite nice to tourists.
- The heat outside the airport. It is just like you’ve got into a steam-less sauna. In the beginning it feels a bit suffocating but once you’ve spent 5-10 minutes outside you get used to it.

While driving into Delhi, I’ve noticed the work being done on the metro, a few cows, the people walking in colourful dresses and the dirt on the street. For a person obsessed with cleaning, it can be a challenge. And I am glad I had taken this chance, it’s a quite a good reality check and a reason for me to understand more of the world wide issues*.

As a simple tourist, I feel the need to highlight a few things which one must know when travelling to India:

- They are owners of a great heritage, due to the creative genius of their ancestors.

You must have already heard about Taj Mahal and seen pictures of it all over the internet. Having it in front of your very eyes will definitely astonish you by imposing height and architecture. It has been designed and built, with great architectural genius, during the 16th century and it is the symbol of love of the Mughal emperor Shah Jahan for his wife, Mumtaz Mahal.

But Taj Mahal is far from being the only architectural point a tourist should be interested in.
Along with it, I’d always recommend Amber Fort in Jaipur, Mehrangarh Fort in Jodhpur or Lotus Temple in Delhi.
The forts are of an impressive height and length and protect buildings of highly complex design: rooms for public meetings, rooms for social events, large halls, walls of elaborated design and creative paintings are a few of the things which stay with you for a long while after you’ve seen them.


Handicraft is also specific of every region in India, but we (Carlos - my travel buddy I met up in Delhi airport and me) got to explore more of it in Rajasthan. At City Pallace in Jaipur we also got the chance to see artists working in the ‘Friends of Arts’ section of the museum. Artists here are sculpting in wood or marble, paint in real size or miniatures, create jewellery which can vary from small ear rings to over-decorated necklaces.
But what really impresses is the orientation towards nature and using its elements in creating art. Artists use anything from leaves to mountain rock – the process, as well as the outcome, bring out friendliness for the environment and respect for creation.

For a person who has been brought up in Europe the products can seem at times kitsch, but along with this type of items you’d always find an object of art of great colour and good taste design.

India, out of all countries, has the greatest national patrimony. And even if I haven’t travelled as much as other friends of mine, passionate about different cultures, I am sure my opinion is close to reality.


- They have a large variety of spicy vegetarian food.

Is that news? I don’t think so…therefore, I will list down some rules for having a proper Indian meal:

- Being seated with legs folded one over the other (meditation position) at the table.
- Using only the right hand to eat. The left hand would be used only for arranging the food on the table.
- Not using cutlery. You can help yourself with food by using directly the roti/naan/chapati/pharata. These are made of flour and water, are fried on a thin pan, at times buttered with ghee, and used instead of bread.

The most widely spread type of food is a preparation of pulses boiled in a lot of water and then well spiced called dal. It is served with roti or rice.

Around 40 percent of Indian population is vegetarian, thus vegetarian dishes are widely served in every house or restaurant at each meal.
As a religious fact, Hindus, Buddhists and Jains aspire to an ideal of ahimsa, or non-violence, which prohibits the killing of anything living or with the potential for life. This is why most of the times you won’t either find eggs in any vegetarian food.

For the un-used to Indian food, all the dishes might look quite similar to one another and turn out to be quite hard to digest due to their spiciness. Once you get used to it (or even start liking it) it becomes a good variety of food to have. But if you didn’t try it before, you might get a few problems.
My friend and travel buddy got two injections and a two days medicine treatment. So, better be advised and prepared!


- They live on high adrenaline in a hectic transportation system.

At any time of the day, there will be a great number of vehicles being driven on all sides of the street.
Vehicles vary from huge tucks, to cars (mostly TATA brands), rickshaws and motorbikes.
Rickshaws in Delhi are green and yellow, function under CNG (Compressed Natural Gass) and run a more ecological policy.
Rickshaws in Rajasthan are black and yellow, just as the ones in Mumbai, where you’ll get more of the cab option as well.
In all the hectic traffic, there is only one God blessed and government blessed rule: HONKING. And all the drivers are thoroughly applying it.

While travelling with all above mentioned means of transportation, I must admit they are all quite efficient, but equally dangerous. If you want to live on high adrenaline at all times, you can choose to move to any of the Indian cities and often use public transportation – that is what you’ll get.

As a pedestrian, you shall also enjoy the adrenaline rushes until you get used to the traffic. This is firstly because there won’t be enough space on the pedestrian area and thus you’ll have to use the margin of the highway.
Secondly, all vehicles, no matter how posh (all the more if posh) will keep making a deafening honking sound which will get you confused – sometimes they might honk because of you being in the way, sometimes not. So just make it quick while walking and crossing!


- They like to bargain. It is the only way to set the price.

As a foreigner, the exchange rate from rupees to your currency might be quite satisfying – you do a lot with little money.
But you should also know to pay the right amount and not make unnecessary donations.

The regular price of any museum you go visit will be about 10 times more for foreign people than for nationals. Taj Mahal would be 30 rupees for an Indian and 750 rupees for a foreigner. That is fine – the price of around 10 pounds pays off and more than that. Money will go to maintaining the architectural sites.

On the other hand, for any other thing you buy, you must be careful. Prices are usual less than half of what you hear. As per friends’ recommendations, you should always start bargaining from 10% the given price.

I myself got fooled a couple of times and don’t really regret it. But when you have an Indian to bargain for you the fun comes in. Because you don’t get much of what they’re saying, it looks like they’re having a major fight. Don’t worry! – that is how they like to bargain. Let them do the job for you and you will get a good deal.

Another thing you should do is be aware of the regular prices and bargain around that amount. Once you know the price, they’ll know you can’t get tricked, although they have to try – it’s like a moral obligation of any Indian tradesman.

The most common phrase we would use in dealing with rickshaws was ‘but we came with….’
As an example, we went to India Gate for 80 rupees from Munirka DDA flats (about 10 km). This is a good price as advised by Karun. While coming back the price had gone up to 120 rupees. Again, we had to repeat: ‘but we came with 80 rupees’. The driver would still smile and try to get more money, but agree to our price in the end.

- They like to dance and can put up a show at any time.

Indian people run on hot blood. And it’s not only due to the temperature. It’s an innate love for life and fun which they would prove on any given opportunity.

Two times in particular I could taste of that specific fun: once in Chokhi Dhani and once at the Sangeet I attended in Delhi.

Choki Dhani is ‘a village inside a city’ – it is a gathering of workshops and small buildings and stages in Jaipur. Once you get in, you’ll be totally charmed and feel you’ve been transported to another world, a fairytale-like one. This is the perfect place for a display of traditions in Rajasthan. Here you can have henna applied on your hand, you can try the dinner and the pani puri (vegetable mix in a small bakery ball), you can use the bow, have a palmist’s forecast (the type of: you’re due for love marriage quite soon) and, mostly, you can watch the ladies dance, the children dance and then dance along with them.
Most Indians learn traditional dances since childhood as they use this as means of expressing their joy on several occasions.

A wedding, for example, is the occasion on which people all over the world would dance and enjoy. But for Indians it takes at least 3 days, it involves at least 1000 people and about as many dances.

Ladies Sangeet is the first day of the wedding and families of the bride and groom put up a real show to celebrate their wedding. The dancing is well set by a choreographer (not necessarily an expert, but the person who has most knowledge) and most of the dancers do a quite good job. By the end of the event everyone dances the night away.
My favourite style, of which I have become an acknowledged dancer, is bhangra.


- Their friendship is a strong connection you shouldn’t ever let go off.

Flying out from Mumbai after having a coconut juice and getting to the airport in a rickshaw, I felt the nostalgia of leaving and the joy of coming back. A lot of those mixed feelings which make a difference and make you wonder…

So far I have used descriptions and I have tried to put things straight for any tourist who goes to India for the first time.

But I must admit I have been living with Indian people for 1 year now. And although I can be objective about what I have seen in India, I certainly cannot be objective if writing about my 1 year of friendship with Indians.

I eat my lunch and dinner with them. I have a drink once in a while with them. And we dance and party together.

I have been hosted for 10 long days at no cost by my Indian friends. They have been showing me around. And I’ve been with them when they were praying, dancing or making a plan.

In fact, my whole Indian travel plan has been worked out by Indians. I had to do nothing but book my tickets and go in good faith.

I feel this type of connection only with my friends at home, whom I know for more than 5 years now. And I can’t let go of it, as it became addictive. For them it’s natural to be as kind and hospitable, but for me it remains a unique experience for which I’ll always be grateful.



* Before putting things on a paper I had to reflect a bit, as I wouldn’t like to offend any of the skilled and gifted Indian friends I gained this year. But mine is an objective point of view and I am sure they’re perfectly aware of the issue. The reason why there is so much disorder is that India has a very high population, which obviously becomes harder to manage or supervise. And even if half the population takes care of the disposal, lower classes would be careless in most of the cases.

Remember / Please get to know

Romanian vibe

I’ve been meaning to write these lines for a long time now. And since I am back at home, I’ll try to do it. I don’t feel completely up to it, I wish I passed my ideas to a really skilled person who would write them in such a fashion that everyone will understand and get close to the way I feel.

I am sure I’m no more special than any other person coming back home and getting the chills of togetherness. But what I feel now it’s kind of close to flying. And if flying with own wings it’s not like this, I do prefer the homecoming.

My Romania is the mix of good and bad, the positive and negative projection of it, the pink and the grey, the past and the future.

My Romania is in the renovated passage at Universitate Square and in the ugly trenches they’ve been digging in the historical centre of Bucharest. It is in the variety of national museums and the over-lighted new Cocor mall.

My Romania is in the people saying bad words in a crowded bus and in the good teacher who comes and scolds them.

And if you think you see Romania in the savants at NASA or in the gipsies begging or stealing in one of the glamorous European capital cities, then you are terribly wrong.

Romania is in my grandparents’ house, where there are enough places at the table and enough plates in the house for all of you to be served.
Romania is in my childhood, where I used to help my parents’ neighbours carry the luggage up to the fourth floor.
There is a seed of modesty and wish for helping which resides in each true Romanian house. There is also a brotherly feeling not only between Romanians, but between a Romanian and every other nation we come together with.
This can be noticed in the present times, but can be proved by history. And I am not getting political or over-factual, but I do need to underline that Romanians have never attacked other nations, they have always stood up for what was theirs; although good military tacticians, they never fought for the sake of war and having more, but out of the will to protect their identity.

Thinking of the above, I would say the number of Romanians who are living outside the country has also increased substantially before and after the revolution as there was a thirst for knowing more about the world and getting out of the nest we have for so long been protecting.

One of the greatest Romanian writers stated: ‘Romanians are born poets’. I think that any Romanian, be he/she given a pen, paper and a theme, would make something out of it. It might not be as easy to understand for a foreigner, but given the hard times we’ve had due to most of our ‘neighbours’ and our innate slightly masochistic behaviour, we have developed a humorous attitude and a love for poems, singing and dancing.
Generally, we are also pretty blunt people and would always tell you the truth in a presentable manner.

My Romanian friends have thought me well enough about humanity and caring.
There have been so many times when I was looking for a cosy home and an honest opinion and I have been welcomed in a beautifully decorated crib. Moxa, Crangasi, Militari, Vitan, Gemeni are just a few of the places where I had long talks over a tea or dinner with dear friends.


This evening I’ve been running from one corner to the other of Bucharest to see some of my dear friends – when visiting home we don’t actually get to see each other for enough time and it’s highly unlikely I can meet all of my friends. But the fact that I can disturb any of them from work or ask them to come to some weird on-the-spot-found place and they’d be there are enough proofs 1 year of time can’t tear us apart.

Taking the 381 bus to my temporary home on a warm April evening, I stop to think how nice old talks over a good Romanian beer up on a large Bucharest terrace used to be…and still are.

I’m not being nationalistic. I’m not being selective. I’m not being narrow-minded. I’m just taking back a bit of what I’ve chosen to miss for a while.

Well…I do wish someone better had written this for me. But I’m happy I myself lived it.

Grateful for all old and new Friendships,

Rox

Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman?